Slow Magic
by Imogen74
Summary: The angsty bit of the chapter 5 drabble. Loki desires a change, Jane doesn't believe him...she desires revenge for him ruining her life. Bear with me here...definitely an M rating. Lokane AU...bit OOC. All-human.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Angst! Here we go..._

_Special thanks to JaninaM8. You, dear, are my savior. My G.A. ;)_

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><p><em>Hatred would have been easier. With hatred, I would have known what to do. Hatred is clear, metallic, one-handed, unwavering; unlike love.<em>

_Margaret Atwood, Cat's Eye_

_"__I'll take you over, there_

_aluminum, tastes like fear_

_adrenaline, it pulls us near_

_I'll take you over…"_

R.E.M.'s "E-Bow the Letter," was playing on her iPod, and Jane thought that it was an apt description of how she felt when was she was afraid…

It tasted like metal.

And it had been two years since she and Thor had called it quits.

Two years…and she was relieved, though it hardly seemed to be the case. She wasn't eating properly. She wasn't sleeping properly.

Jane looked out of her window and sighed.

She probably needed therapy.

She needed therapy because what she had done had destroyed her. And she bled. Her tears too insubstantial now, she needed to bleed her pain.

She took to drink, to, as they say, drown her sorrow.

She must be a good swimmer.

She hadn't meant to cheat on him, especially since her parents' marriage had ended in divorce due to infidelity.

And the look on his face…pain…rage…uncomprehending horror…Jane, his almost fiancé, in bed with his brother.

Loki.

She hated what he had done to her life…in some sort of mad rage and fit for revenge, he had seduced her.

And yet, she reminded herself, she went with him willingly.

And the metal rose from her bowels…

Because he had seduced more than her body. He had won her mind…

…and…she whispered…her heart.

Fuck.

The realization had descended its light on her a few months ago, when, after not seeing him since the break up, she ran into him at a party…

_"__Fancy seeing you here, Jane Foster," he purred._

_"__Fuck off, Loki."_

_"__Too soon, then?" and he walked around her and placed his hand on her shoulder._

_She shuddered…._

_Aluminum…_

_She turned and grabbed him._

_And they were upstairs now, he had ripped her dress…_

_She divested his shirt of its buttons…_

_…__and she pushed him onto the bed and took him there._

Because she hated him.

Because she needed to taste something other than metal.

He had completely ruined her, and her life was, from that point on, a series of longing for him, of hating him, of dreading him, fearing him…because she did fear him. He had made her into someone she didn't recognize.

And she loved him.

She loved him.

And the metal, it was strong…always metal, whether liquid or solid…always there, churning its insidious presence…

Her phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Jane Foster."

"Loki."

"Yes…are you free this evening?"

"No."

"Lies are unbecoming to such a perfect mouth, Jane…"

She laughed. "Yeah…" and then a tear fell. "I hate you, Loki."

"I believe that you want to, Jane…"

"There is nothing that I want more…Hatred would have been easier. With hatred, I would have known what to do. Hatred is clear, metallic, one-handed, unwavering; unlike love. And so I'm stuck. And I love you."

"Sweet."

"Go to hell."

"I'll see you in an hour," and he pressed "End" on the phone.

He looked out of the window of his vast, ostentatious flat.

He touched the small box in his breast pocket and smiled.

Soon…

And the metal of his car keys scraped the kitchen counter as he left to get her.

**...these corrosives do their magic slowly and sweet**

Jane felt the bile rise in her bowels. But then something changed, and she shifted…she peered out at the Manhattan skyline and began to think about what it was she was doing.

She had invited that cad over, mainly due to the fact that she couldn't resist him.

Maybe she should just give in…allow him to seduce her…instead of always resisting and making a mockery of herself in the process.

Maybe she should begin to seduce _him_…turn the tables, so to speak.

Something sinister was beginning to form in her mind, and it tasted like revenge. She could get back at Loki for what he did between her and Thor…she could get back at him. Make him fall in love with her, and then leave him.

Jane Foster wasn't ordinarily a conniving specimen, she was actually rather sweet.

_Sweet._ Loki had called her sweet for loving him.

Fuck him.

Fuck him and his smile.

Fuck his voice.

Fuck his hands…his arms…

Fuck everything about that hateful man…

And she planned on doing just that.

She would fuck him until he was nothing but a puddle at her feet, begging her. And she would laugh and walk away.

* * *

><p>Loki Odinson was driving in his Jaguar to Jane's apartment. He was thinking about all of the carnal delights he was about to partake in, and his cock twitched at the thought.<p>

It was then that a peculiar thing happened.

He wasn't paying attention, and he nearly hit a woman crossing in the crosswalk. She looked to be in her mid-fifties, about as old as his own mother, and when he slammed on the brakes, she screamed.

Silently.

Her face was contorted, and a look of utter fear was painted in her eyes…and then anger.

The woman swallowed.

She shook her head.

And she continued on her way.

A horn was heard behind him and he jumped. He had nearly killed her…

Loki had always fancied himself capable of anything, even murder, if need be. He had never considered what it would mean to actually snuff out the life of an otherwise innocent person…especially if it was an accident.

Perhaps he wasn't who he thought he was.

Perhaps he wasn't the blackguard as he believed.

Ruthless.

Conniving.

He touched the box in his breast pocket and pulled over. Suddenly everything became plain…as though it had been him who had nearly lost his life just then. His life, heretofore, had been a threadbare tapestry of mishaps and misunderstandings. He was not happy. He used people…

Something as trivial as a near miss would cause this reflection...? How could this be so?

He rubbed his face and breathed in deeply, placed his hands on the seat, and savored the supple leather of the Jag. Calm yourself, Odinson…remember who you are.

Millionaire.

Brilliant.

A different woman on your arm every week.

_But he would always go back to this one…_

And that was what was driving his visit that evening.

Suddenly Loki didn't feel quite so lascivious. Suddenly things seemed more complex...perhaps Jane might be agreeable to talk a bit, instead of jumping in bed.

* * *

><p>And Jane looked at herself in the glass. She was pleased.<p>

She hated that she loved this man, and she couldn't decide if she hated her inclination that she loved him or that she hated him more…

None of it made sense, and the bell rang.

Fucker.

"Loki…" Jane cooed, and stepped aside to allow him entry. Keep a cool head, Jane Foster.

"Evening, Jane," and he walked in.

He took note of her dress…black. Low-cut. Lacy. What was going on…? "You look nice this evening, Jane. Expecting someone else? I had called, you know."

"Oh, no…just thought that I might clean myself up a bit. You seldom see me in anything nice," and she slunk around to the sofa. God he was attractive…and she hated him more for it.

He cocked a brow and sat. "No. I suppose that is true."

Bit downtrodden, she noted. Jane sat next to him and placed a hand on his knee. She turned toward him with heavy-lidded eyes. "Loki…" she breathed.

"What's this about, Jane?" frankness was always a desirable thing.

"What? We both know why you are here."

He nodded. "I wish that you would stop looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like you're about to devour me."

"I thought that you'd like that," and her hand went up his thigh.

"Ordinarily, maybe. But not tonight," and he moved his leg away.

"Why not tonight?"

And he thought that he should have an answer for this, but it failed him. Why had he come? Why did he continue to plague himself with her presence? It was plainly obvious that she would never care feel about him the same way he felt for her, despite her assurances that she loved him.

She did not.

Not the way she loved Thor.

His eyes passed over her, and a sad look betook his countenance. "Because tonight, Jane…I rather thought that we could talk."

"Talk."

"That's right."

"About what?" and she sat back into her couch.

Loki thought about the box in his pocket.

He thought about the Jaguar parked outside.

He was tired of being the villain. He was sick of forcing himself on this woman who loved him in spite of herself.

It should be intoxicating.

Instead, after the episode with the pedestrian, it was nauseating.

Something had happened when he saw her in that dress, all purring and clawing and panting like a cat. He suddenly wanted more.

No…he wanted less.

"Jane…" and he stood, and ran his hand through his hair.

"What?" and she stood with him, and ran her hand over his chest.

"I need to go," he replied abruptly.

What. "What do you mean?" her hands fell to her side.

"I mean…" Loki turned and went to put his coat back on. "I need to leave. I shouldn't have come here."

"Why not?"

"Because Jane…because I…" and the box pulsed in his pocket.

"Fuck you, Loki. How dare you come here…and then act as though you don't want me! You are such a fucking asshole. I haven't heard from you in a month…no doubt because you have a different woman to fuck every other night, and then you call, demanding you be allowed over here. And then what. To fucking talk?! Since when do you just wanna talk?"

_Since I realized that I cannot do this anymore, Jane…_

"I…" and he sat once more, taking her hand and pulled her with him.

"Just like that. Out of nowhere. You're suddenly a good guy. You wanna talk."

He sighed and his eyes narrowed a touch. "I suppose that, I rather thought that…maybe we could just talk. I don't do that very often."

"No. You're too busy ruining everyone's lives," she spat.

He straightened. He swallowed. "Perhaps we can start afresh, Jane..."

"Afresh?"

"Just so," he folded his hands on his lap and looked at her steadily.

"Well...what are you suggesting?"

"That we talk," and he swallowed. He thought of the woman he nearly killed...he thought that Jane might understand...but instead he picked up a book from her table. "For example, I had no idea that you liked Virginia Woolf."

"You never asked."

"I am now," and he smiled at her, something Loki hardly ever did, unless he was up to no good. Which was more often than Jane cared to admit.

"Loki, what is going on with you?"

"I am merely attempting to formulate a discourse..." he began, but Jane stood up.

"Bullshit. You are up to something."

His face fell a touch. She didn't trust him. And why should she? All of a sudden he is interested in what books she was reading? "Perhaps I should come back when you are less angry," he stood.

"Good luck, Loki. I'm pretty much always angry."

"Because of what I did..."

"Yeah, because of what you fucking did! And what you continue to do...what I _allow _you to do!" she yelled. "What do you expect?! You come here, you use me and my emotions...and I let you do it. I let you, and you don't care."

"You're right."

"What."

"You are right, Jane. Allow me to have the opportunity to set it right," he was looking at her oddly.

"What are you saying?" her voice quivered.

"Allow me to make you feel better about things," he took a step near her.

_Ah...now here we are...he wanted to go down on her...she could play this._

"Ok, Loki. Fine. What do you want? You want me to beg you to love me? I'm not so desperate. And you forget. I actually hate you."

"How could I forget?" his eyes held something in them, something Jane was unaccustomed to seeing. "But you also claim that you love me...so which is it?"

"Both."

"Impossible."

"No it isn't."

Loki shook his head. "I'll call you tomorrow, Jane."

"You're leaving," it wasn't a question.

"That's right."

"Oh my fucking god. You're leaving," Jane marched over to him to look at him square in the eyes.

How could he do this to her?! Right after she had formulated a plan. Right after a light could be spied at the end of the tunnel. She was gonna get her revenge!

Loki bent down and kissed her forehead.

"Are you seriously leaving me?"

"You aren't mine to leave, nor am I yours."

She swallowed. Stop this. "You know what I mean," she said and she reached up kissing him hungrily.

He wasn't going to win that easily.

And when she pulled away, he was breathless…"Fine. Leave."

Jane turned and swayed her hips so that he might enjoy a full view of her ass in retreat.

The last thing she heard was the door click shut behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

Loki sunk into his leather sofa and downed a scotch. And then another.

He lost count after the 5th…

He couldn't account for the feeling he was experiencing following his near miss. It truly shouldn't bother him so much. He was not so easily touched. He was not so easily moved by something as silly and insignificant as nearly hitting a pedestrian with his car. Perhaps it was the resemblance to Frigga which haunted him so…

(Loki noticed that his eyes were wet. When did he become so soft!)

His mother. She was always so attentive toward him. Well, much more than Odin was.

He began to ruminate on Frigga…she had been disappointed when the whole debacle with the company occurred. More than disappointed, actually. Downright depressed.

It hadn't been his intention to let things get as out of control as they had…Thanos was a conniving, corrupt, and astute liar. And Loki had been taken in by his erroneous promises. He had promised him that Asgard would remain unscathed. In truth, the company had lost nearly all of its investors in the takeover. Thanos….he cared only for himself. Of course he did.

But Loki had tried to save face. He had tried to make it seem as though things weren't as fucked up as all that. Odin would hear none of it, and Thor was promoted. _Thor_ was promoted.

So Loki, in his hurt and rage, seduced Thor's girlfriend…he was certain that he would be proposing to the scientist, and ruin any chance of happiness on that front for him. He might be the golden boy of Asgard, but he would be alone.

(Was he in love with her? He had no idea. He had never been in love before, so he had nothing to compare it to.)

His revenge was sweet, it swelled his chest and puffed his pride. He might not have Asgard, but he had Thor's happiness. Thor was ridiculous and sentimental. He cared too much. Smiled too much. Loved too much.

And it bothered him suddenly that he was not these things. He was without real love, save perhaps his mother. Loki had no one who truly cared for him…

And his mind wandered to Jane.

She claimed to love him; though she also claimed to hate him in equal measure. He didn't need that. He didn't want her begrudging affection. If he were to gain the affections of a lady, she would need to offer them wholly and without dubiety. He wouldn't beg; he wasn't that desperate.

Perhaps he should visit with his mother…

Frigga…and Loki smiled a touch. He retrieved his phone from his pocket, and dialed her contact info.

The phone rang…

"Loki?"

"Hello, Frigga."

"It's been so long," she paused. "Is everything alright?"

"Fine, fine. I was thinking…perhaps you'd like to come into New York soon. It'd be lovely to see you."

There was a breath of time. "You want for me to visit?"

"Yes. If you're agreeable."

No answer.

"Frigga?"

She cleared her throat. "I'll see what I can do. I'll call you in a day or two…I love you, son."

Loki swallowed. "I love you, mother." He hung up the phone and stood.

He would be seeing his mother.

* * *

><p>Jane laid on her bed, seething. She couldn't believe that she had been thwarted by him. God, he was infuriating.<p>

She rolled onto her side and played with the blanket. Jane felt her breath steady leave and then fill her lungs as the tears fell freely.

She hated that she loved him, so much that it ate at her insides and rotted them utterly. He was the worst of men. There must be something wrong with her that she loved him.

Something wrong with her….

Jane sat up and wiped the tears from her face. There was…there had to be. She must hate herself…

Her job at Columbia as a researcher was fairly rewarding, though the pay was pretty meek. She honestly didn't care all that much. She had what she needed, she paid her bills, and she had a small nest egg.

Her parents were both dead, and she had no siblings, a few close friends, and her boss was ok…

She ticked off the important people in her life. Was she just so lonely that she would fall for any dude who showed her attention?

No. That can't be right. She had been with Thor when Loki seduced her. Thor was a good man…and she was fairly certain that he had been in love with her; though the words had never actually been formed as such.

Nor had she declared herself, either. No…

She hadn't been in love with him, if she thought about it.

She hadn't been, and she tossed her head back. _Why?_ Why didn't she love him?!

Why had she fallen for his brother…evil, selfish, conniving….?

Jane got up from her bed and went to the kitchen. She poured herself some wine. Perhaps she didn't know herself as well as she thought. Perhaps she wasn't the good little girl everyone supposed that she was. Perhaps she was drawn to Loki because he fulfilled a wish in her, a need in her…

She downed the drink.

Well, wish fulfillment notwithstanding, Jane needed to concentrate on the task at hand. Revenge. Revenge for ruining whatever happiness she might have enjoyed with Thor.

She smiled a wicked smile. She would fix this. He wouldn't get away with this.

Jane tapped her finger on the side of the glass. She could be seductive if she thought about it enough. She could turn the tables on him, since he was choosing to play a game. She could make things uncomfortable for him…make him regret this. Make him _love_ her…

Jane's mind churned on itself. What could she do to win him over? He had been behaving oddly earlier. He wanted to talk…

To talk….?

Jane shifted as she stood there. Loki wanted to talk. _Loki._

There was definitely something going on here.

Jane picked up her phone.

_Hi Loki. Sorry about earlier. You wanted to talk to me about something?_

Send.

Jane curled a smirk. She was apologizing to him, which is not something that she would ordinarily do, but she rather thought that it would entice him and garner a favorable response. He might have been in a weird place…

She waited a few minutes.

_I did, yes. But it doesn't matter now._

She frowned.

Why didn't it matter now?

_I'm happy to listen now, if you like._

Send.

_Thank you, Jane. But I'm really fine._

Different tact.

_Alright. Lemme know when and if you want to talk._

Send.

She received no reply, so Jane went back to bed, as it was now nearly eleven at night and she was exhausted from her cry out.

* * *

><p>The next day Loki set to cleaning his flat. He was going to be entertaining his mother, which didn't happen very often, so he decided to make it as comfortable as he could for her. He wanted to impress her, perhaps enough so that she might relate to Thor and Odin just how well he was doing.<p>

Loki rummaged through some papers and began shredding stuff.

He came across an old family photo album.

He paused, and looked at the cover. He didn't recall having taken this from their London home. It must have been snuck in…just how long had it been since he had properly cleaned out his desk?

Loki opened the volume and looked at the first few pages:

He and Thor as young children, playing in the back yard.

He and Thor at Thor's birthday party, with about one hundred presents for him to open.

Thor at his primary school graduation.

Loki at his secondary school graduation.

Thor with his BA from King's College.

Loki with his MA from Cambridge.

Thor and Jane at Odin's sixtieth birthday celebration.

She was smiling prettily at him…

And Loki had ruined that for her.

Jane had never done anything to incite his ire, she had merely been caught in the crossfire, as it were.

He shook his head and put the album away.

Well, it was a shame, but he couldn't be what she wanted him to be. She wanted Thor, like everyone did, and her declarations were merely her own blindness to her desires.

Loki retrieved his phone and dialed his mother again.

"Hello, Loki."

"Mother…so…when will you be coming to New York?"

There was a short silence. "Loki, son…I don't think that I can."

If Frigga could have seen his face, she would have seen his eyes close, his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed his emotion. "Why not?"

"Well…it's complicated."

"No it's not. Odin forbade you to visit," he spat.

"Loki…"

"No! Don't bother. I understand perfectly well. I'll see you at Christmas," and he hung up.

Then he threw the phone against the wall, shattering it to bits.

* * *

><p>Jane decided to visit him at his office... surprise him, as it were.<p>

She applied a bit more makeup than was usual, and wore a skirt more clinging to her body than was her custom.

She smiled at her reflection in the mirror. Yes. She was pleased with the result of her pains.

She grabbed her jacket and left her apartment.

A taxi was hailed, and she clambered in.

"Where ya headin' gorgeous?" asked the cabby.

Ordinarily, she might've been slightly affronted, but given the state her of mind, she was flattered.

Jane gave the address, and they headed off.

She arrived at his office and saw the very attractive receptionist. "I'm here to see Mr. Odinson."

"He isn't in, Miss. He called in sick."

Jane's mouth fell. He _had_ missed work before, but usually he came for at least a short while. "Oh…is he at home, then…?"

"I'm not at liberty to say."

Jane's back straightened. "Well…thanks anyway," and she turned on her heel and left.

She walked the five New York blocks to his apartment…

_What was his problem, anyway? Not going into the office. The office which meant so much to him…_

She saw the security and he waved her on, and up she went to the penthouse on Central Park West. Jane, with her confusion and anger mounting, strode to his door and pounded on it with her fist.

She folded her arms across her chest and tapped her toe.

No answer.

She knocked again, a bit more loudly.

She heard some movement inside…

But when the door opened, the Loki she was accustomed to seeing wasn't standing in front of her…

The Loki she saw looked broken.

And her face fell.


End file.
